瞎聊專區 @ 賤豬人生

問題1
TWN (10) : 請問電池有現貨嗎? 方便面交嗎?我急著要用.感恩.	2005-02-21 22:48
答覆
五角 (43) : 您好：有現貨的，不方便面交,一律國際快遞喔！	2005-02-28 23:49
問題2
TWN (10) : 那我先訂一顆,在這裡下標嗎?380萬含運費嗎?	2005-03-2 23:52
答覆
五角 (43 ) : 您好：在這下標即可,買方付運費喔.	2005-03-3 00:00
問題3
TWN (10) : 運費內含吧,這麼貴耶.	2005-03-5 13:36
答覆
五角 (43) : 您好：不買就算了,	2005-03-5 18:56

(繼續閱讀...)

loner76 發表在痞客邦留言(1) 人氣()

個人分類：瞎聊專區

▲top

Feb 20 Wed 2008 09:37
只要有心人人都是The Bitch from HELL

最近被公司"政策"搞的心情很差

大家先湊合著先看這一篇

然後我要說

只要有心

人人都可以是

The Bitch from HELL

本文引用自 hao0903 - 來自地獄賤女人的耶誕派對
英文的部份據說是轉寄信
中文的部份是豪哥翻譯的

CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT

【第一封】

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director 人力資源部主管珮蒂

TO: All Employees 給所有員工

RE: Christmas Party 關於聖誕派對

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.

很高興來通知各位，公司的聖誕派對將於12月23日中午在「碳烤之家」的私人包廂舉辦。現場將有售酒吧台和各式飲料！我們還準備了一個小型樂隊為各位演奏傳統耶誕歌…非常歡迎大夥兒盡情歡唱。

And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up as Santa Claus!

如果咱們的大老闆以聖誕老人裝扮出現，可別受驚唷！

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

至於聖誕樹點燈儀式將在下午1點開始。員工交換禮物的活動也可順便在此時進行，不過，各位準備的禮物請不要超過10元美金，免得有窮人家會負擔不起。本項活動可是員工限定的喔！

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

咱們的大老闆也會在那時為各位獻上一段佳節賀詞！

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

祝各位以及各位的家人聖誕快樂。

Patty

珮蒂

【第二封】

********************* ******************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director 人力資源部主管珮蒂

TO: All Employees 給所有員工

DATE: October 02

RE: Holiday Party 關於佳節派對

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

關於我昨天的通知可絕不是在排擠我們的猶太教員工。我們當然認同「修殿節」也是一個重要的節日，正如同聖誕節一般，不過不好意思今年則不然。然而，乾脆我們從現在起改稱它叫咱們的「佳節派對」。

The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.

同理也適用於其他那些不是基督徒或是仍然在慶祝「和解日」的員工們。

There will be no Christmas tree. No Christmas carols sung.

We will have other types of music. Happy now?

這麼一來，當天將不會有聖誕樹。也不會有人唱耶誕歌。我們將演奏其他類型的音樂。各位現在滿意了吧？

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

祝各位以及各位的家人”佳節”愉快。

Patty

珮蒂

【第三封】

*****************************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director 人力資源部主管珮蒂

TO: All Employees 給所有員工

RE: Holiday Party 關於佳節派對

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

另外某位「匿名戒酒會」成員建議設置禁酒桌的請求… 而您卻沒有留下您的大名。我個人是很願意接受這個提議啦，但是如果我在桌上擺了個「匿名戒酒會專屬」的牌子；你就不會再是匿名的!!!!! 請問是要我怎麼搞？誰來救救我？

Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

還有請忘了交換禮物這回事吧，不准再交換禮物了，因為工會會員認為10元美金的禮物太昂貴，而且咱們的高層認為10元美金太小家子氣。所以全都不准交換禮物了!!!

Patty

珮蒂

【第四封】

*****************************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees 給所有員工

RE: Holiday Party 關於佳節派對

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.

咱們可真是個多元化的團體啊咱們！我還真不知道12月20日開始是回教的齋戒月啊，所以禁止在白天飲食。

There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

這可是咱們的派對啊！說真的，我們可以體會在這時候舉辦午餐怎能枉顧咱們回教員工的信仰呢。不如我請「碳烤之家」在派對結束前才把餐點端給你們，或者乾脆提供提袋給你們全部打包回家去吧。這樣總可以了嗎？

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

同時，我已安排了減肥互助會成員坐在離甜點自助吧最遠的位子，而孕婦則是坐離廁所最近的位子。

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

男同性戀者可以坐在一起。女同性戀者不用跟男同性戀者坐，任何一個族群都有他們自己的桌子。是的，男同性戀的桌上將會有插花擺飾。

To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.

至於那些在問是否可以變裝的人，在這邊統一回答你們，本派對禁止女扮男裝、男扮女裝!!!!!!

We will have booster seats for short people.

我們也準備了升降椅給哈比族人們。

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

另外也有低脂食物提供給節食的朋友們。

We cannot control the salt used in the food, so we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first.

不過我們不可能掌控食物的鹹度，所以在此建議那些高血壓患者請先自行試吃。

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

我們還備有新鮮水果給糖尿病患者當點心，畢竟餐廳並不可能供應「沒有糖」的點心。不好意思!!!!!!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

不知道我還有漏了什麼嗎!!!!??!!!!!

Patty

珮蒂

【第五封】

************************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director 人力資源部主管珮蒂

TO: All F****** Employees 給他X的所有員工

DATE: October 05, 2007

RE: The F****** Holiday Party 關於他X的佳節派對

Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!!

吃素的怪咖們!!!! 老娘真是受夠你們了!!!!!!!

We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the tab le furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

老娘才不鳥你們爽不爽，反正派對還是要在「碳烤之家」舉辦!!!! 所以你們最好乖乖閉嘴找個離各位所謂的「屠宰碳烤區」最遠的位子坐，會有他X的沙拉吧餵飽你們，是的，還包括了有機蕃茄。不過你知道嗎？蕃茄他也是有感覺的!!!!! 當你一刀劈開他們的時候，他們也是會驚聲尖叫的!!!!! 我真的聽過他們尖叫!!!! 其實我現在就聽到他們正在尖叫!!!!!! 祝各位都有個臭酸的佳節!!!! 最好是醉酒駕駛然後一頭撞死!!!!!!

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

來自地獄的賤女人上!!!!!!!!!!!

【第六封】

*********************************************

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director 代理人力資源部主管瓊安

DATE: October 06, 2007

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party 關於珮蒂與佳節派對

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

本人在此謹代表各位向珮蒂致意並祝她早日康復，我也會持續將各位的關愛卡片轉交給她。同時，本公司管理單位也決定取消本次的佳節派對，改放大家23日下午支薪的半天假。祝各位佳節愉快！

Joan

瓊安

loner76 發表在痞客邦留言(0) 人氣()

個人分類：瞎聊專區

▲top

Jan 18 Fri 2008 14:10
超讚的尾牙秀

天線寶寶跳伍佰的花朵舞~~~

場面一整個

很合諧...哇哈哈

棚子的後面寫著2007展昭尾牙

御貓展昭?

董事長莫非是包大人?

本文影音照片轉貼自此http://www.im.tv/vlog/personal/531666/3389715

(繼續閱讀...)

loner76 發表在痞客邦留言(5) 人氣()

個人分類：瞎聊專區

▲top

Jan 09 Wed 2008 23:35
玩wii....要小心家中寵物...玩Wii玩到被.....不值得阿.

警告:十八歲以下以及孕婦或是高血壓患者,請勿進入

(繼續閱讀...)

loner76 發表在痞客邦留言(2) 人氣()

個人分類：瞎聊專區

▲top

Jan 09 Wed 2008 13:36
久違了EAGLES

20首新歌2張全新專輯份量，從1974年創作的"How Long"到2006年
激盪出10分鐘搖滾史詩"Long Road Out Of Eden"，超過30年創作心血一次收錄。

我還記得在開封街的亞瑟看到四個老男人的演唱會

"Hotel California"、"Take It Easy"

是永遠的經典

終於...永遠的老鷹合唱團合體了

附上遙遠之前的片斷給大家回味

Well, I'm running down the road
tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on
my mind,
Four that wanna own me,
Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine
Take It easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels
drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
and take it easy
Well, I'm a standing on a corner
in Winslow, Arizona
and such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin' down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me
We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in,
so take it easy
Well I'm running down the road trying to loosen
my load, got a world of trouble on my mind
lookin' for a lover who won't blow my
cover, she's so hard to find
Take it easy, take it easy
don't let the sound of your own
wheels make you crazy
come on baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me, oh oh oh

loner76 發表在痞客邦留言(0) 人氣()

個人分類：瞎聊專區

▲top

Dec 22 Sat 2007 16:16
關鍵字<不可以>---我真是猜不透你阿

警告:本文雖附有健康教育意義以及網際網路搜尋引擎使用密技
但依然相當低俗,衛道人士請勿進入.
強烈警告:觀看本文　請勿飲食以免毀壞螢幕

聽說在辜狗搜尋關鍵字"不可以"
會出現神奇的......字眼

所以既然Google都建議你『不可以射在裡面要拔出來』
那大家就乖乖的別射在裡面吧

<轉貼文>
我是一位大三的學生，因為要做畢業論文的關係
所以目前在一位有力的教授門下擔任類似 9527 一樣性質的特務...
其實也希望往後是否也能得到教授的提拔，一舉躍入龍門。

目前老闆旗下 1 位小姐跟 4 位男公關 (1 位學姊跟 3 位學長跟只有編號沒有名字的我)
由於老闆是專研的是有關類神經網路；這一門學問的相當費精神而且需要高度邏輯的思考力，
因此只見研究室終日燈火通明、歌舞昇平 (音樂開超大聲)
為了畢業大家都拼了！
在精神壓力下，大家養成了革命般的情感...
相知相惜... ... ...

就在昨日...
中午用餐後，大家都各自在研究室位子上休息... (2 點還要開會)
學姐則是在沙發上先睡了...
其他學長則是趁空閒時間抓一些小遊戲程式下來玩玩...
但是由於學姐在睡覺，所以把喇叭關掉避免吵到人家睡眠。
那是一個非常好玩的遊戲程式
主要是打關卡的遊戲，每一關都會有魔王把關；
把小囉囉解決之後，魔王就會出現。
最後還會有一個最厲害大魔王，擊敗他，就破關了...
學長們輪流上場...
一關一關的破...
終於到最後一關了... 但是小囉囉太多了...
好不容易快要殺完了... 大魔王就要出現了... ... ...

大家忍不住興奮的心情一起大叫著: 快出來了！快出來了！快出來了！快出來了！
正當我們急促斯喊著時...

不料這時在沙發睡覺的學姊突然睜開眼睛... 用緊張的語氣脫口說出: 今天不可以射在裡面！！快拔出來！！

這時大家睜大眼睛看著這位學姊...
沒有再打電動... 我想誰也沒有心情再打電動...

學姊漲紅著臉...
綁起馬尾... 快速奪門而出...
此時我彷彿看到學長在吞口水...
我想我知道他在想什麼...

想不到這麼清純的學姊...

也有這樣不同的體驗... ... ...

看著學姐離去的身影... 我忍不住難過起來...
學姊，我相信你是清白的...

<同場加映>
關鍵字岳母